Minnesota’s Mediocrity

 

Minnesota – a great place to live. Anyone who calls it home knows it. If you don’t agree, well, I won’t discuss the weather with you or treat you to an awkward MN goodbye that takes 45 minutes. But, let’s just get this out there, our professional sports teams mostly suck. Call a spade a spade, our teams are collectively inept and are the worst in the country for any state that has all four major sports.

(Inserting an emphatic shoutout to women’s sports teams in this state – whether it is Gopher hockey, the Lynx, Regan Smith, or the Whitecaps, our female athletes kick ass)

People accuse me of being super negative (true fact) because I’m frustrated and fed up with rooting for teams that never go anywhere. My counter is always the same, we are so used to our teams being bad or choking that when one finally makes the playoffs, we are happy just to be there. Our favorite teams are so bad, fans are satisfied being part of the conversation with no expectations of actually winning. The Pohlads have swindled millions from Twins fans because they know Minnesotans will show up to a nice park regardless of the product, satisfied with just being relevant every ten years or so.

Negative? Absolutely. Tell me why we shouldn’t be as fans? Let’s take a look at our favorite teams:

  1. The Minnesota Timberwolves (1989-2019)
    1. Career record: 961-1451, .398 W-L%
    2. 9 playoff appearances (Thank you Kevin Garnett)
    3. Drafted Rubio & Flynn over Curry
    4. Gave Wiggins a max deal
    5. No further explanation needed
  2. The Minnesota Twins (1901-2019) (between two states)
    1. Career record: 8903-9603, .481 W-L%
    2. 19 playoff appearances. 2 World Series championships (YAY!)
    3. Since 2000, 6 playoff game wins. Last 4 appearances: 0-10
    4. 10-year division drought snapped in 2019
    5. PLEASE DON’T GET SWEPT BY THE GD YANKEES THIS YEAR
  3. The Minnesota Wild (2000-2019)
    1. Career record: (W-L-T-OTL) 689-556-55-142 (1575 points – not awful)
    2. Playoff appearances: 9, including 6 straight from 2012-2018 (also good)
    3. Bounced in the 1st round in last 3 appearances (son of a !)
    4. Overall, not a horrible 20 years but not much to show for it
  4. The Minnesota Vikings (1961-2019)
    1. Career record: 480-399-11 .539 W-L% (good enough for 6th best in NFL)
    2. Playoff record: 20-29
    3. Superbowl appearances: 0-4 (F!)
    4. Best known for choking in the biggest moments and breaking fans’ hearts
    5. Vikings gonna Vike
    6. Gary Anderson.

After the recent loss to the Bears, I took my frustrations to Twitter and was savaged by fellow fans.

 

Tell me, what about the above is there to be positive about? We have the longest championship drought of any state that has the above four professional sports. As fans, let’s demand more from our teams other than just making the dance. Let’s quit convincing ourselves the Vikings are anything other than a .500 team with Zimmer & Cousins at the helm. I am a huge Zimmer fan, but it just isn’t working. I’m not advocating for anyone to lose their job, because I really don’t know what will help at this point.

I am confident, however, that as long as the Vikings are unable to draft their own franchise QB, they will be nothing more than a .500 team that occasionally jumps up and makes a run, ultimately ending in another wide left heartbreaker. Vikings gonna Vike.

 

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